Amazing Secrets About Forgiveness And Self-Forgiveness

Amazing Benefits Of Self-Forgiveness And Forgiveness

Updated on July 5, 2024

Discover the profound benefits of self-forgiveness as we delve into how it can positively impact your life, leading to personal growth, improved mental health, and greater overall well-being. In a world where we often focus on forgiving others, we tend to forget the immense power that comes from forgiving ourselves. Self-forgiveness is not just about letting go of personal guilt; it’s a healing process that can transform your perspective and grant you the peace and self-acceptance you deserve. So, if you’re ready to embark on a journey towards emotional healing, keep reading to learn more about the advantages of embracing self-forgiveness.

The Benefits Of Self-Forgiveness?

How do you react when someone’s words or actions hurt you deeply? Do you hold onto that anger and resentment, allowing it to fester within you? Or do you seek the path of forgiveness, both towards others and, importantly, towards yourself? Exploring the profound secrets of forgiveness and self-forgiveness can unveil a transformative journey toward inner peace, happiness, and personal growth. In this post, and through an enlightening video discussion, we will uncover the reasons behind our unhappiness, stress, and various other life challenges. By the end, you’ll be equipped with the tools to initiate positive changes in your life through the practices of forgiveness and self-forgiveness.

The concept of saying “sorry” can vary greatly among individuals. Some may readily apologize, understanding the value of this simple word, while others might hesitate due to matters of ego or social status. Chances are, you’ve uttered the word “sorry” numerous times throughout your life – a common and acceptable practice.

However, have you ever contemplated how many times you’ve forgiven someone who hurt you without them offering an apology? It’s an intriguing question, isn’t it? Forgiving someone, even when they haven’t said sorry, can be challenging, as it may appear to diminish your status. This predicament is a common dilemma for many individuals.

We all know Forgiveness is an 11-letter word, but according to Elizabeth Marx the famous writer Forgiveness is a 4-letter word: Love

… forgiveness is a four letter word: Love.

Elizabeth Marx, Binding Arbitration

Award-winning speech about forgiveness and self-forgiveness

Ashwini John | Youth ICON Awardee 2017

Ashwini John from Vivekanandha College of Engineering For Women in Kerala, India, delivered a power-packed and inspirational talk that earned her the title of Youth Icon of the Year 2017 in the Youth Talk contest. Her speech, titled “Secrets About Forgiveness,” left a positive and enthusiastic impact on the youth. Don’t miss the opportunity to watch this video, where this young girl eloquently elucidates the significance of forgiveness in a delightful, straightforward, and powerful manner.

Why some people cannot forgive others?

SFor some individuals who lack mental fortitude, letting go and forgiving can be a challenging task. Consequently, past incidents continue to haunt them throughout their lives. To avoid letting the same events cross your path again, it’s essential to be astute and mentally resilient.

The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest and the first to forget is the happiest.


Song Forgiveness – TobyMac

This is a heart-touching and meaningful song about forgiveness. Close your eyes and open your ears and mind to listen to this beautiful song.


While we often hear about the significance of forgiving those who have wronged us from parents, spiritual leaders, and wise individuals, we should also emphasize the importance of self-forgiveness. Indeed, self-forgiveness is just as crucial as forgiving others. Life is filled with its share of unfortunate events, but there’s no benefit in continually berating yourself for them. Instead, the key is to learn from these life lessons and use them as stepping stones towards success.

However, self-forgiveness can be a challenging endeavour because it requires a degree of detachment to introspect, understand one’s issues, and find constructive solutions for personal growth. In some cases, seeking assistance from others may be necessary, just as it is when forgiving those who have wronged us.

The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself. 


How to heal your shame and guilt through self-forgiveness?

  1. The Obstacles to Self-Forgiveness
  2. How to Forgive Yourself for the Harm You Caused Others
  3. Four Avenues Toward Self-Forgiveness
  4. Self-understanding can Lead to Self-Forgiveness
  5. Common Humanity and Gaining Compassion for Yourself
  6. Exercise: Your Sins and Omissions
  7. Earning Your Forgiveness
  8. Apologizing
  9. How to Give A Meaningful Apology
  10. Ask Your Creator or Higher Power for Forgiveness

A Google search showed me a beautiful post about self-forgiveness written by Beverly Engel. She has been a psychotherapist for over 30 years and is the author of 20 books, including The Emotionally Abusive Relationship and The Right to Innocence. I have listed the points of the article for your reference to understand the depth of the article. You can read the full article Healing Your Shame and Guilt Through Self-Forgiveness

Whom should we forgive?

Is this a challenging question? No, it isn’t. We should extend forgiveness and seek forgiveness from everyone in our lives, be it family members, relatives, neighbours, classmates, colleagues at work, or even strangers we encounter during our journeys. Forgiveness should be extended to everyone, including those who may have caused us harm or even our enemies.

Parents should forgive their children, and children should likewise forgive their parents. While these acts of forgiveness often happen naturally, in some families, forgiveness may be lacking, leading to various problems. Similarly, forgiveness should exist between husbands and wives in a relationship.

Couple Hugging - The Secret About Forgiveness
Couple Hugging Vector Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Why should we forgive, and what are the benefits of forgiveness?

Forgiving is essentially an act of giving – it means giving happiness and peace of mind to the person you are forgiving. But what do you get in return for this selfless action? The answer is simple: You also receive happiness and peace of mind.

Forgiveness and respect are part of a two-way system, involving giving and taking. When you forgive someone, you not only offer them emotional relief but also experience a sense of contentment and tranquillity within yourself.

Once you’ve asked for forgiveness and forgiven someone, you’ll experience a profound sense of relief. Your mind becomes free from tension, stress, and anger, allowing peace and love to fill your thoughts and emotions. This newfound energy will flow through your body, positively influencing your overall well-being.

Moreover, your love and care can inspire the other person to think more positively and become a better individual. Forgiveness has the power to lead to light, love, and a joyful life for both parties involved.

What happens if you don’t forgive others?

If you choose not to forgive, your mind becomes a breeding ground for anger and stress. The emotional wounds in your heart remain open, festering with negative emotions.

The person who hurt you is also left without a peaceful mind, burdened by the consequences of their actions.

Furthermore, holding onto grudges and refusing to forgive can lead to unexpected and unwanted incidents, causing harm to both you and the other person involved. In essence, unforgiveness perpetuates suffering and serves as a barrier to personal growth and healing.

How did a Kerala nun’s family embrace her murderer?

“We forgive you.” This phrase embodies a powerful and inspirational story of forgiveness that took place in Kerala, India. While some may find it hard to believe, it is indeed a true story that serves as a testament to the incredible capacity of forgiveness.

Samandar Singh bends to recieve forgiveness From Sr. Rani Mari's Family
Samandar Singh bends to receive forgiveness from Sister Rani Maria’s mother and father at the latter’s home in Pulluvazhy, Kerala, in 2007. Also in the picture, Father Sadanand (with a white beard) helped the reconciliation to take place. ( Photo courtesy/Sister Selmy Paul ) (HT)

In 1995, Sister Rani Maria met a tragic end near Indore, and her story of forgiveness is a moving one. As we contemplate her impending beatification this November, her family’s extraordinary act of forgiving her killer and embracing him as one of their own stands as a testament to the power of forgiveness. Life is uncertain, and we cannot predict what each moment holds. With this in mind, why do we hold on to arrogance during our short time in this world? Read the full story of forgiveness

When faced with hurtful incidents, it’s important not to cling to anger and resentment but instead embrace forgiveness for both ourselves and others. Whenever fear or anger surfaces, choosing forgiveness over hatred can promote healing, raise our consciousness, and lead to inner freedom, peace, and happiness. Why we are arrogant in short life in this world?

Unfortunately, many struggle to forgive due to ego and status concerns, often leading to unnecessary conflicts and unhappiness. It’s time for us to change our attitude and strive to forgive others, no matter how deep the wounds in our hearts may be.


In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful and transformative force in our lives. It not only offers peace and healing to those who receive it but also to those who give it. As we’ve seen from the inspiring story of Sister Rani Maria and her family’s act of forgiveness, letting go of anger and resentment can lead to profound inner freedom and happiness.

Life is unpredictable, and our time here is limited. Instead of holding on to grudges and arrogance, we should embrace forgiveness as a way to mend our wounds and foster compassion. It’s a choice that not only benefits us personally but also has the potential to create a more harmonious and forgiving world. Let us all strive to be more forgiving and compassionate in our interactions with others, thus making our lives and the lives of those around us more meaningful and fulfilling.

Let us start today, make changes in life and realise ‘forgiveness is a four-letter word: Love.’

What is your experience with forgiveness?

What do you think of self-forgiveness?

Any advice for those who need to forgive?

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Your valuable suggestions and comments will help to make my effort on this small blog a success.


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