Parental Conflict

Parental Conflict: Impact On Children And Solutions

Updated on July 5, 2024

Parental conflict is a reality that many families face, and its effects can ripple through every aspect of a child’s life. While disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, how parents manage and resolve their conflicts greatly influences the well-being of their children. Understanding the impact of parental fighting and learning effective strategies for resolution is crucial for creating a harmonious and supportive family environment.

What Are The Causes Of Parental Conflict?

Parental conflict can stem from various sources, including disagreements over parenting styles, financial stressors, differences in values or priorities, unresolved past issues, and communication breakdowns. External factors such as work pressures, extended family dynamics, and life transitions can also contribute to tension between parents. Additionally, unmet emotional needs, lack of effective communication skills, and individual stressors can exacerbate conflict within the parental relationship. Understanding the underlying causes of parental conflict is essential for addressing and resolving issues constructively, ultimately fostering a healthier family dynamic.

What Is Harmful Parental Conflict?

Harmful conflict is distinct from domestic abuse. We define harmful conflict as conflict between parents or those adults important to the child that is detrimental to their welfare. Unlike domestic abuse, harmful conflict is the responsibility of both parents. As with all forms of harm to children, conflict can vary in nature, intensity, as well as the short-term and long-term impact on their emotional and mental wellbeing. 

How Does Parental Conflict Impact Children?

While it’s normal for parents to have disagreements, persistent and intense conflict can significantly impact children’s emotional, social, and behavioural well-being, along with their academic performance. Such conflicts also undermine children’s sense of safety and stability, affecting their relationships not only with their parents but also with others.

Moreover, when parental disputes centre around children, it can lead to self-blame and adjustment issues in children. However, studies suggest that “good quality parenting,” characterized by structure, warmth, emotional support, and positive reinforcement, can mitigate the negative effects of parental conflict.

Witnessing parental conflict can be distressing and confusing for children of all ages. It can evoke feelings of fear, anxiety, and insecurity, leaving a lasting impact on their emotional and psychological development. Constant exposure to conflict can erode trust and stability within the family, affecting children’s sense of safety and security.

Emotional Consequences

Children often internalize parental conflict, blaming themselves for their parent’s disagreements or feeling responsible for resolving them. This can lead to feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, and emotional distress. In some cases, children may develop behavioural issues, such as aggression or withdrawal, as a coping mechanism for dealing with the stress of ongoing conflict.

Interpersonal Relationships

The quality of parental relationships sets the foundation for children’s understanding of healthy relationships later in life. Constant exposure to conflict can shape their beliefs about communication, conflict resolution, and the stability of relationships. Without positive role models, children may struggle to form healthy interpersonal relationships and may repeat patterns of conflict in their own lives.

Is It Necessary To Have Healthy Relationships With Parents?

Academic Performance and Social Development

The stress and distraction caused by parental conflict can impact children’s academic performance and social development. Constant exposure to conflict at home may lead to difficulties concentrating in school, decreased motivation, and challenges forming friendships. This can have long-term consequences for their educational attainment and overall well-being.

Strategies for Resolution

While conflict is inevitable in any relationship, there are steps parents can take to minimize its negative impact on their children:

  1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication between parents to address underlying issues and concerns.
  2. Seek Support: Consider seeking professional help through couples counselling or therapy to learn healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.
  3. Model Healthy Behavior: Be mindful of how you communicate and resolve conflicts in front of your children. Model respectful and constructive conflict resolution strategies.
  4. Prioritize Children’s Well-being: Put the well-being of your children first and strive to create a supportive and nurturing environment for them.
  5. Reassure and Validate Feelings: Reassure your children that they are not to blame for the conflict and validate their feelings. Encourage open dialogue and provide emotional support.


Parental fighting can have a profound impact on children’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. By understanding the effects of conflict and implementing effective strategies for resolution, parents can create a supportive and harmonious family environment where children feel safe, secure, and loved. By prioritizing open communication, seeking support when needed, and modelling healthy behaviour, parents can mitigate the negative impact of conflict and foster positive relationships within the family.

What do you believe are some common causes of parental conflict, and how do you think these conflicts impact children in the family dynamic?

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References: Parental conflict and its effect on children

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