How do you rate yourself as a parent? Are you a good parent to your children? When looking at neighbours do you think they are better parents than you? Are you searching for easy ways to become a better parent? If yes, you have reached the right place. Let’s find awesome tips to become a better parent.
How to become a better parent?
You can only give what you have. If you can’t manage your own emotions, can’t change your bad habits, then you can’t expect your child to learn good qualities.
Remember, no one is perfect in this world, no perfect parents, no perfect children, and no perfect families. But you can find many happy families who live in the embrace of great love and unity.The first step to becoming a better parent is to become yourself better. Click To Tweet
What is conscious parenting?
Consciousness is a commitment to unearthing the emotional and conditioned legacies of mind.
We all have inherited many things and beliefs from our culture, from parents and their ancestors and grow into these legacies without knowing the truth or ever questioning.
We live with what we learned from them and believe if we don’t follow our life will not be successful. Your child has come into this world with a throbbing spirit desirous to question and find out the truth of such beliefs.
You should deconstruct your own emotional legacies and find the truth and then unleash it in your child.
Understand boundaries and the psychology behind parenting
Sometimes it is difficult for parents to answer the child’s questions.
Growing child is always anxious about learning new things and ask you, “Guide me, control me. I don’t know how to do it.”
The child will become happy with your quick reply, “Yeah, I’ll do it. I’ll help you. I’ll show you”.
But sometimes it is difficult to explain or do the things the child asked. It can be due to lack of knowledge on the related matter or confused what answer to be given for some questions.Conscious parenting is about being attuned to who your child is at the stage they are in. Click To Tweet
Understand your child is at their stage of development. Understand the child‘s brain and then give the proper input.
How parents perpetuate children creating a false sense of self?
Some parents have military rules on their children. They want their children to do everything as per their wish. They forget the children are not puppets but have the brain to think and do things. Instead of removing their doubts and correcting their mistakes, they force them to do as per their direction only.
They are happy because they feel and say their children are obedient, but they do not understand children are obedient because they are in fear. Children are scared of parents and not exposing who it is they are. They create a false sense of self.
You should be creative and speak from the soul and speak the language of the children in a calm, consoling and love-filled way.
Kids learn from parents
Parents are the first teachers of kids. Kids watch every word and action of parents. For them whatever the parents do is correct. But many times parents are not aware of this fact. They fight each other, use abusive words, criticise about others in the family or community. Kids learn all those and follow.
Ensure their requests are valid
When kids want something, ask them why that is needed. Ask them to explain in detail why it is warranted. If kids present with a valid argument (“because it’s cool and all my friends have it” is not valid). If he can’t come up with a valid reason, think before you give. Today some kids play tricks to make parents believe their request is genuine. Always make sure the reason is valid so that they don’t misuse the money and don’t go in the wrong path.
Recovering your truest self and allowing your children to suffer
You need to guide your children. Help them find answers for their questions about life, nature and whatsoever. If their answer is wrong, point out the mistakes and correct them.Life is a pain, unpredictable, a cold wall, and some adventure. Click To Tweet
Your child can do ever-morphing. You can find a child crying with tears one moment, excited the next moment. Do not rob them of the capacity to morph.
Children live in the present moment. They engage in whatever the present moment asks and then move to the next moment ready again.
For a better parent living in the present moment and being deeply connected with the child is very important. A better parent is present to the child and knows when the child needs to sleep, food habits, what is the favourite dish, what are the likes and dislikes. Never push children for anything.
Dr. Shefali on Impact Theory
Better Parent Style
- Behaviour – Children learn from the words and actions of parents. Remember your negative behaviour, constant demoralization and frequent criticism can bring down your child’s esteem.
- Discipline – Discipline is important to adopt acceptable social behaviours. A disciplined family will have a positive and lifelong effect on the child.
- Unconditional Love – Avoid criticising or blaming your child because that can deteriorate the child‘s self-esteem. Your child requires proper guidance. It is the duty of the parents to correct children wherever and whenever needed.
- Faith – You should have confidence and faith in your child’s abilities and do not hesitate in expressing this to the child.
- Mutual communication – Sometimes children do not accept your direction to do something. In such situations never lost your temper. Try to give them simple explanations and reasons why you want them to do. You can create a sense of responsibility and involvement in children by asking their suggestions to solve a problem. This will create a sense of responsibility and involvement in them.
- Role model – Children watch parents constantly and Parents are a role model for the kids. Ensure you behave properly.
- Time – Keep enough time for children. If they do not get adequate attention from their parents, they will misbehave more often and become more aggressive.
- Flexible and adjustments in parenting style– Sometimes children do not meet up to your expectations. Do not make them feel ‘let down’. Create a flexible parenting style ready to adjust according to the situation.
Avoid these to become a better parent
- Interrupting – Do not interrupt while your child is speaking. Never cut before the child has finished speaking because that may make the child feel insulted.
- Labelling – Some parents have the habit of calling their child ‘dumb’, ‘selfish’ etc. This kind of words will create a negative impact on the mental health of the child.
- Comparing – Never compare your child with others. This is one of the mistakes many parents do.
- Not listening – It is common that parents find it difficult to listen to children while doing any work. But not listening to your child may make to feel that his/her matters are not important to you. Try to listen to the child and give a proper reply with eye contact, showing empathy by smiling and touching shoulders. Ensure the child gets proper attention and connects with parents.
- Criticising – Avoid unnecessary criticism which may impact the self-esteem of your child.
- Shouting – Due to workload, health problems or other such problems, you may face frustration and stress and this can cause you to shout on your child. This will make your child eager to know the reason because children never like shouting and angry with parents. It also creates negative energy.
- Nagging and threatening – Do not threaten your child on any matter or situation.
- Body language – Remember body language speaks everything about a person. Don’t show impatient body language to your child.
- Being insensitive – Your child expresses feelings to you and expects your support. Never give the child a chance to feel alone and misunderstood. Make the child feel parents are always to support.
After reading the post and watching the video how do you feel? Are you a better parent or an imperfect parent? If an imperfect parent, face the truth. Remember, everyone has weaknesses and strengths. Try to improve upon your weaknesses.
Recommended articles for further reading
- What Is The Real Value Of Parents And How To Treat Them?
- Sharing Problems With Family Is Important For Happiness
- Brilliant Tips For Healthy Relationships With Parents
Mathukutty P. V. is the founder of Simply Life Tips, a passionate Blogger, Content writer, Influencer, YouTuber. Lives with a notion “SIMPLE LIVING, CREATIVE THINKING”. Believe – “Sharing is caring.” “Learning never ends.”