We all are familiar with the popular term ‘Self-love‘ because we often hear this word in every normal conversation. We hear advice about self-love from family members, elders, teachers, doctors, spiritual leaders and other people who know the importance of self-love. Many people have questions about self-love in their mind. What is self-love refers to? What is the importance of self-love? Is self love selfish? How to grow self-love? Is self love important for a successful life? You can find the answers to your questions below. Robin Sharma explaining the 4 truths to grow self-love which is important for a happy and successful life.
A few of the self love directives
Here are just a few of the self love directives we give or get to suggest a way to better living.
- “Why don’t you love yourself?”
- “You have to love yourself”
- “You can’t love another person until you love yourself first.”
- “If you only loved yourself, this wouldn’t have happened to you.”
You might have heard the above phrases many times in your life. Still may be confused about what is self-love and how to grow self-love. You can love others only when you have self-love. You can respect others only when you have self-respect. You can believe someone only when you believe in yourself. You can make others happy only when you are happy. So self-love, self-respect, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-forgiveness and self-discipline all are very important for a successful life.
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How To Grow Self Love?
I really hope you’re great. I hope you are in hot pursuit of your mighty mission. I hope you’re materializing your primal genius. I hope you are radiating positivity to every person you meet. I hope you are manifesting your greatest productivity. I hope you’re living not only a successful life today but a soulful life.
In many ways, self-love is the starting point to everything. The way you are in the world is a deep reflection of the way you are with yourself. Your prosperity and your income is always a reflection of your self-identity. Your daily behaviour is always a reflection of your deepest beliefs. You’re not going to go out in the world out in the world and represent your highest creativity productivity and mastery if you hate yourself. You’re not going to be kind to people on the street, smile at strangers uplift the teammate, Wow a customer if you’re full of hatred about who you truly are.
And I think this is one of the missed ideas and one of the missed truths in the world today. The doorway to success really does open inward and it doesn’t open outward. And I’ve seen so many people even some of the people I coach. These people, they learn the intellectual ideas to build an empire. I also teach them how they multiply productivity and I also teach them how do you scale your fortunes and build a life of joy, peace, beauty and freedom. Yet some of them here’s what they do, they tear it all down.
We get to these amazing results through our coaching together and they hit an inflexion point or they start to self-sabotage. Maybe they start to drink too much, maybe they start to be rude to the people on their team, maybe they start to pick fights with their significant other, maybe they start to get too distracted by digital media and they start to tear it all down. It is a huge act of self-sabotage I’ve seen it for so many years working with the best of the best.
Why does that happen? Well, it happens because you will never rise any higher than the way you see yourself on the outside. If you don’t feel you are deserving of beauty, prosperity, acclaim, fame, fortune, impact on society. If you don’t really feel you deserve it because you feel like you’re not enough, you really don’t like yourself. You’re suffering from what psychologists call impostor syndrome.
Then you’re gonna read the books, you’re gonna watch these mastery sessions, you’re gonna go to the courses, you’re gonna do the work. But you are going to reach a point where your mindset becomes in conflict with your heart-set if you don’t know these for interior empires.
I’m always talking about mindset, heart set, health set, and soul set. But the larger point is simply this. Think about this idea of self-sabotage and it all comes from a lack of self-love. If as a child you didn’t receive appreciation from your parents if as a child you might have received physical love or physical caring. But that heart-set need, that needs for love and appreciation, that need for human validation.
If you didn’t get that from your parents, so you didn’t get that from your teachers or you didn’t get that from your early influences, well, here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna be suffering and I use the word intentionally you’re going to be suffering from these heart-set wounds of neglect, emotional and neglect. And you’re not gonna like yourself very much and especially in this culture of comparison you’re gonna those wounds are going to be activated every single day. You’re gonna walk out in the world and you’re gonna look at your device and you’re gonna see all these people showing you a highlight reel of the lives they want you to think. they’re living.
Most of it’s just an illusion I was reading recently there is actually a service where you can rent a jet on a runway and for 20 minutes you can go to the runway and get a photographer to take pictures of you on a private jet and outside of the private jet and you get to post it on social media. And you can hire photographers to take you to all these luxury brand stores or you’re outside of a luxury brand store and you’re like outside a luxury brand store. Maybe even if you can’t afford the watch or the purse or the shoes or whatever it is.
What is the point I’m suggesting to you?
Everything begins within. If you don’t love yourself then you’re gonna go out into the world and in this culture of show business, this culture of bling, this culture of comparison, this culture of social media gratification, you’re gonna get activated. You’re gonna get pinged those ancient runes, are gonna get touched on every single day and you’re just gonna be miserable.
So four truths to help you grow self-love so that you build that inner warrior and this place of peace. And this huge well of tranquillity that cannot be disrupted when you go out into the world is what is really mission-critical right. You want to be so strong in your skin so strong in your luminosity so strong in your relationship with who you truly are that. Nothing in the outer world can activate you and diminish your energy and make you feel not enough.
You know what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “my friend, no one can insult you without your mission“. You know what Oscar Wilde said? He said, “be yourself everyone else is taken“. You know what Warren Buffett once said, “there can never be a better you than you.” You know what Jack well said when he was at GE, “do not lose yourself on the way to the top.” So let me walk you through four specific truths that will help you grow self-love.
4 specific truths that will help you grow self love
- Honour your specialness
- Do hard things daily
- Go to the woods. (Silence, Solitude, Stillness)
- The more people you help the more love you will grow
1. Honour your specialness
Honour your specialness. Look, we’ve got billions of people on this tiny planet and yet there is:
- No other person alive today quite like you.
- No one quite like you the gifts that you have.
- No one quite like the way that you talk.
- No one has the same fingerprints.
- No one walks exactly in the same way as you.
- No one is the same hopes and dreams as you.
- No one has had the same sufferings that you have.
- No one has become precisely the same person that you are.
- No one has the same potential you have.
- No one has exactly the same primal genius that lurks at your court that makes you special.
Now I’m not suggesting that you fall into what I call WRAM syndrome WRAM world revolves around me. Look I’m so special, I’m entitled, I’m so special. world gives me a great living. I see that all over the world we live in this society of great entitlement people don’t want to show up. Early people are not committed to mastery in all cases. A lot of people are like give to me and they’ve become takers from their organizations and their marketplaces and their society versus understanding you get from the world what you give to the world. But the point on this first truth is :
- Honour your specialness
- Appreciate who you are
- There is no one quite like you
2. Do hard things daily
The second truth to grow self-love is todo hard things daily. I want you to think about this one really intimately, right here, right now. When you get up every day are you on the path of least resistance. Someone said to me on one of my social feeds the other day “Robin I’ve read the 5 a.m. Club loved the information full of energy to get it done but I need to tell you it sounds very easy it’s much harder to do in real life.”
Well, what is this love we all have in this world, we live in of things needing to be easy?
Society has sold us a bill of goods everything should be easy. We should transform our health with one quick pill. A great relationship should happen in a month and if we don’t have a magical relationship we’re not all in love and wonder then we should leave the relationship. If we’re in a job anything that’s worth doing is challenging at first. And oh if we’re at a job after three months if it’s not the job of my lifetime we leave it.
In a relationship you know if it’s not perfect we leave it, If we want to upgrade our health oh I’ve been at it two weeks, oh you know what it’s really hard I need to stop my journey to world-class fitness. What’s my point? My point is simply this anything great you will ever do in your life is hard. And so are you living every day?
Let me ask you right now in this moment I am blessed to share with you. When you get up in the morning, when you go through your day, when you construct your evening routine, is it all around the path of least resistance? Is it all about pleasure? Is all about fun? Is it all about are you a master of easy? Or are you doing what the very few do on the planet today?
As you know one of my core brain tattoos is to have the results 95% of the population do not have you’ve got to commit to doing what only 5% of the population are willing to do. And what the Titans do, what the virtuosos do, what the Exceptionalist do? They build their days around the pursuit of difficult things. And if you do that here’s what happens. You’re gonna build a momentum. And if you do that each day will be a platform for growth but even more importantly how do you build self-respect? It’s by doing difficult things. When you say I’d like to watch a video in the evening or my favourite TV show but tonight I commit to spending time with my child who wants my attention and who needs me you grow in self-respect.
When you say I’m going to get up at 5 am and I’m gonna run this 2020 20 formula that Robin teaches and that has literally helped millions of people upgrade their morning routine and their energy productivity creativity impact you grow in self-respect. When you say I’m not gonna coast through my day-to-day I’m gonna do something that’s gonna give me a micro win so my work and my crafts get a little better you grow in self-respect.
If each day you do difficult things and make these daily optimizations each day through the doing of micro difficulties you build greater self-respect. And as you build greater self-respect you fall in love with yourself. It’s a great way to build self-love. I mean one of the tactics to remember is how do you grow self-love you consistently make and then keep self-promises which brings you.
3. Go to the woods. (Silence, Solitude, Stillness)
The third truth to grow self-love is go to the woods. we spend so much time in the noise of life we forget about the signal we spend so much time and the frenzy of society or forget about who we truly are. I’m challenging you with great love and respect don’t just be a producer, be a philosopher. Don’t just be out into the world go to the wilderness. We are animals. We need to retreat but also at our core, we must spend time in solitude.
For years I’ve been teaching philosophy the 3s philosophy solitude, silence, and stillness. Solitude, Silence, and Stillness in this world. Right now of such digital distraction, such as social media comparison, such busy, being busy.
We wake up in the morning sometimes there’s so many emails, so many notifications. We must make the time to go to the woods physically or metaphorically and when you find that time to practice the 3 s’s of silent, solitude and stillness here is what happens. You remember who you truly are, you remember your priorities. You can build intimacy and fluency with your primary relationship. And the primary relationship I suggest to you who you truly are.
You’re not your past, you’re not your weaknesses, you’re not your false beliefs, you’re not your hypnosis, you’re not your genius betrayals. When you start to spend time alone in the woods in solitude in reflection that’s when you can say I am NOT my wounding, I am NOT my hatred, I am NOT my insecurity, I am NOT my sorrow, I am NOT my fears, I am NOT my stumblings, you start to hear the quiet whispers of your greatest self and you start to remember you are luminosity, you are a hero, you’re not a victim, you’re a leader,r you have this goodness within you.
This deep creativity within you, there’s great power within you that longs to see every day and the more you spend time in the woods alone remembering who you truly are, it’s like any other relationship you spend time with it you nurture it, you grow it, you become aware of it. It gets stronger and stronger and then you become this force of nature out in a world of so many people who have forgotten, who they truly are. And you stand as an army of one of possibility and leadership and strength.
4. The more people you help, the more love you’ll grow
Fourth truth to grow self love is simply this. The more people you help, the more love you’ll grow. The more people you’ll help, the or you will expand if you really want to times 25 your self love times 25 your commitment to impact. You know Mother Teresa said it really well it’s as you help more people you love yourself even more greatly and it’s Martin Luther King jr. and I’ll paraphrase him he said you know we all can be great because greatness is not about education greatness is not about your position greatness is not about your past every single day we all can be helpful.
And so each day we all can become great. And so I found personally the more I shift the focus off of any elements of fame, fortune applies getting more likes and the more I obsess and make it this monomaniacal driven mission that doesn’t come from the ego, that comes from servant to it to help more people through the information I share in the world the more joy I see in my own life. The more I pursue helpfulness the more peace I fill up with.
It’s so important a strong mindset without a pure heart set is an empty victory. And when you do that heart-set work so that you turn down the voice of the low-grade emotions like anger and shame and guilt and sorrow. And when you upgrade your commitment to self-love and gratitude and serve into it it’s amazing what rewards you’ll start to see in your own life.
Credits – Robin S. Sharma
To become successful in life, you need to grow self-love. Without self-love, you can not spread love. When you grow self-love, other good qualities required for success and happiness will automatically improve. If you follow the above 4 truths to grow self-love, you will begin to accept and love yourself more. Remember that you can only love a person as much as you love yourself. The more you grow self-love, you will allow and encourage others to grow self-love in the same way. This will help to attract more good friends towards you that support your well-being and success in life.
What do you to grow self-love?
Do you help others to grow self-love?
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I am Mathukutty P. V., a proud Indian, Blogger, YouTuber. I started Simply Life Tips, made in India with love, to share useful things with the world. I believe, 'Sharing is Caring! Learning never ends!'.